Dear Coleen
I’m a 37-year-old woman, married with three young children. I’m determined not to have any more kids and suggested that my husband, who’s 36, should consider having a vasectomy.
I wasn’t prepared for his response, which was: “Are you kidding?” For some reason, he won’t discuss it. I don’t want to take the Pill any more or have anything implanted into my womb, and neither of us relishes the thought of sex with condoms for the
next 15 or so years.
How can I persuade him – any ideas?
Coleen says
You could suggest never having sex ever again (joke). I think you have to find out what’s behind his refusal to discuss it – is he a bit scared of having an op?
From what I understand, it’s a pretty simple procedure, but if he knows nothing about it, he might imagine it’s a lot worse than it is.
It’s worth getting some information together on what the operation involves, which could be reassuring.
If it’s not fear, then maybe he doesn’t want to close the door on having more kids in the future.
But it’s not really good enough to leave the conversation at: “Are you kidding?” You’re a young couple and sex is an important part of your relationship.