Dear Coleen
I’ve got myself into a situation that I don’t know how to get out of. I never thought I’d be the kind of person to have an affair, but here I am.
The guy in question is the husband of a friend. We became close because we take our dogs for walks at the same place and kept bumping into each other getting takeaway coffees.
His wife and my husband were working from home at the time.
Then one day we ended up kissing – he initiated it – and things progressed to having sex in his car.
(Image: Getty)
I’m not proud of this, but I’ve got to be honest, it was hot and it’s happened several times since.
I feel like a different person these days. This affair has made me happier and woken me up from my mundane routine. But what do I do?
We’re both married and both have kids and, although I know I should break it off, I feel addicted to seeing this man.
Can you talk some sense into me before it all goes wrong?
Coleen says
Leaving aside the obvious fact that we’re in the middle of a pandemic, of course what you’re doing is risky and, if you get caught, lots of people will get hurt. But I’m sure you know that.
I think the longer it goes on and the deeper you get into it, the harder it’s going to be to break it off. And you’ll also have to deal with the guilt and the stress of keeping this secret.
I’ve spoken to many people over the years who’ve cheated and pretty much all wished they could turn the clock back and make different decisions.
Affairs are exciting and addictive, but you have to force yourself to look at the bigger picture and imagine what your life would be like if this became public knowledge. How would it affect your marriage, your children, even your friendships?
You do know how to get yourself out of it – next time you see him, tell him it’s over. Then turn your focus to your marriage and think about what you want to do. Things can’t be great if you’re willing to risk it all with an affair.
Talk to your husband and tell him you feel things have become mundane and routine. Listen to what he has to say and discuss what you do about it.