Navigating parenting with stepchildren can be difficult, but it’s important to make everyone feel like part of the family.
One stepmum however, has come under fire for doing the exact opposite.
The unnamed woman was branded an ‘a**hole’ on Reddit after asking if she was in the wrong not to include her husband’s two daughters in her pregnancy announcement.
In a post on the Am I The A**hole forum, the mum explained that she’s been in a relationship with her partner for five years, they have a daughter who is almost two and he has two kids from a previous relationship that are nine and 10.
The couple recently found out they are expecting another child and the woman decided to announce the news with a photo of her daughter wearing a shirt saying “big sister”.
But when her husband saw the photo, he was disappointed his other children weren’t involved.
The woman, who is from the US, didn’t understand the problem.
Writing on Reddit, she said: “I decided to order a big sister shirt for my daughter and snapped a few pictures to send to my extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins).
(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
“The pictures came out cuter than I expected, and I asked him if it was okay with him if I posted them to social media. He said that not having the older girls in the picture made him feel like he has two separate families. I pointed out that, in a way, he does.
“All four of the girls are his daughters, but they aren’t all mine. The older girls are very close to their mom, and I explained to him, that although they are part of our family, I am not their mom and they will never view me as such, and being a step-mom is very different than being a mom.
“At the end of day it’s not really a huge deal to me, I don’t post on social media frequently, but this whole situation has me feeling upset. I feel like he wants to pretend that we are not a blended family. I mean he does have two kids with one woman and two kids with another. And I feel like he doesn’t acknowledge that, or the fact that, although the girls are all equal, they are different because they don’t have the same moms. AITA?”
More than 400 people responded to the post, with many taking the dad’s side.
One person said: “YTA. He wants he’s older girls to be included with his younger girls. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. By keeping them separate, YOU’RE the one pretending you don’t have a blended family. You have to be together to blend. If its not a big deal to you, why can’t you include your step children? I mean, its no a big deal, right?”
Another replied: “It’s not like including them in the picture means that you’re their mom. It just means you’re a good stepmom.”
A third added: “Your husband stated that he feels like he has two families rather than one blended family. Rather that reassuring him, you agreed and stated that he does. Aren’t you just a special kind of AH to your husband here by telling him this.
“Including all the children doesn’t mean that they view you as their mother. It doesn’t take anything away from your pregnancy or your children. It recognizes that this baby has more siblings than just the one. It’s about including the entire family, not just the chosen ones.”
Who do you think is in the wrong? Let us know in the comments below.