A man has claimed to have found himself in a difficult and strange position after his mother-in-law asked him for a big favour.
In a post on Reddit’s Relationships forum, which was later shared to Twitter, an unnamed man said his wife’s mum asked him if he would be a sperm donor for her.
He confessed he found the whole situation very “weird”, while his wife meanwhile was upset that he didn’t instantly agree to help her parent out.
The mother-in-law, who is divorced and in her 40s, already has several children according to the post, but is desperate to have another baby and her doctor says it’s ok for her to do so.
The son-in-law says he’s been a sperm donor previously as he has a high sperm count and this is why he was considered for the job.
The post reads: “I’ve been married to my wife for three years now. Great relationship, great marriage. No real issues. I’ve had some problems with MIL but really only the normal ones they happen in any marriage.
“Her mother had my wife when she was fairly young so she is in her early 40s now. She has two other children besides my wife. They are both younger. For some reason she has caught baby fever again.
“I believe it is because my wife and I had our first child a year ago. She loves it and always wants to take care of him. We are both great with that obviously as it lets us rest.
“I’ve been a sperm donor multiple times. I figured out that I had a very high sperm count and I am a healthy guy so I’m always able to give some. It seems that this was somehow relayed to the MIL by my wife in their conversations.”
(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
He continued: “The other week my wife told me that her mother wanted to speak to me. She said that she insisted that it was just me and her. I met MIL at dinner that night. She seemed anxious and nervous.
“Finally she began to talk about how much she loves our child and how wonderful he turned out to be. I agreed and thanked her. She then told me about how she’s wanting another kid and has been trying to find the appropriate sperm donor. This scared me as I knew where it sounded like it was going.
“She then brought up how I am a frequent donor and that it’s obvious that I have good genes. After that she popped the question, she just came out and asked if I’d be the donor. I was silent as I didn’t know what to say.
“She could tell I was weirded out so she tried to explain her thoughts. She said that it’s because I have good genes, our child turned out great, and I have a high sperm count so it increases the chances. She said I could have as much of a presence in the child’s life as I wanted. She promised that we would get legal advice so I wouldn’t have to be financially involved and wouldn’t have to worry about that. I could see it a lot or none at all. She said that she had talked to my wife about it first and already had her permission.
“I didn’t know what to say. I just told her I’d think about it. I didn’t really mean that though. I just did it not how to say no and I was panicking.”
The man claims he went home later that evening and talked to his wife about it.
His wife was excited about the whole thing and assumed he was going to say yes.
When he said he was “extremely weirded out” by it all, the woman’s face dropped and she got upset.
“She told me I was being ridiculous. She pointed out how it was selfish how I can give my sperm out to strangers but not to her mother who we know and love and that desperately needs it,” he added.
“I told my wife I just couldn’t do it. It was too weird and scary to me. She started crying and went away to call her mom. Since then my wife has been very quiet around me and her mom hasn’t contacted me at all.”
The husband finished his post by saying he now doesn’t know what to do and is worried this is going to ruin his marriage.
Many people responded to his Reddit post, taking his side.
One person replied: “You’re not being ridiculous by saying no. That’s so f***ing weird, man. I wouldn’t ever do that, and also shame on your wife for not respecting your boundaries.”
Another posted: “I just..cant. Your entire family dynamics would be messed up forever. Your wife’s little brother/sister would be her own child’s half sibling. The child would be your brother/sister in law, in addition to being your biological child. You’d see that child at every family gathering, knowing he was biologically yours. Your child and that child would be uncle/nibling but also half siblings. So many reasons this is a no, unless you were all really super good with it.”
A third wrote: “Wtf ? There are plenty of sperm donors out there that have strong/great genes so if she ‘desperately’ needs it she can take the time and find one of them.
“Second you don’t have to see these strangers at family events, every time your wife wants to visit, and every time you have to pick up your kid. You would have to see this child every time you see you MIL, and know that it’s yours in a way.”
What do you think the man should do? Let us know in the comments below.