Dear Coleen
I’m a girl in my 20s and I haven’t had much experience with guys, so I’d love your advice. I work in retail and in June last year when we came out of the first lockdown we got a new manager at work.
He’s not the friendliest person and most of the staff don’t like him but when we went back to work in December, after the last lockdown, he said to me and a few others “long time no see” and I replied “Oh, did you miss us?” and he just laughed.
All day he was teasing me in a jokey way and I was being cheeky back. This banter carried on throughout December. He’d also stand very close to me and chat every day.
I feel like we had a moment one day – really good eye contact, staring into each other’s eyes for more than five seconds.
I thought it was only me he was flirty with, but then I saw him teasing another girl in work one day, although she’s a huge flirt. He never used to say hello and goodbye, but now he does and he always holds the door open for me.
The only thing is, he has a girlfriend and a child. Is he just being a typical guy and flirting or could he like me, even though he’s taken? I’m confused!
Coleen says
Whether he likes you or not, he’s not available, so my most important piece of advice is to not take this flirtation any further.
Also, I’d be careful about reading too much into his behaviour – it might just be friendly workplace banter because he’s got to know you all better. And, yes, he might find you attractive, but it doesn’t mean he’d act on it.
You’re a young woman and have plenty of time to find a nice boyfriend who’s free to date you. Do you really want to get involved with a man who has a partner and child? I hope not.
It’s fine to be friendly and polite at work, and engage in some banter, but don’t take the flirtation any further. Also, you might find that if you did express an interest in him, he’d run for the hills because he’s just a big flirt, but would never take it any further.
Also, dating your boss, even if he were free, needs some careful thought before progressing at all – what if it didn’t work out between you and you still had to work together every day?
Don’t complicate your life and do something you’ll regret.
There really are plenty more fish in the sea, as the old cliche goes!