I was feeling a little glum the other day, and even listening to Leonard Cohen while juggling the cat didn’t cheer me up as usual.
And if you think you can’t juggle one cat, you haven’t seen the size of our cat.
Suddenly I had a better idea: I’d make a list of all the new bikes coming out soon, and that worked. The cat looked happier as well, although he hasn’t even got a licence.
Leading the charge in terms of numbers is Honda, with a total of 15 either new models or updates of existing ones, although a few are just minor tweaks.
The most interesting is the CMX1100 Rebel, due to hit dealers in March as a supersize version of the CMX500 Rebel mini-bobber I wrote about a couple of weeks ago.
The original CMX500 Rebel looked a bit wimpish, and although a macho makeover has improved its looks, it’s still hard to be rebellious with only 46bhp under your belt.
So the 1110 version, which has wisely retained its little brother’s muscular looks, has the grunt to match, with the parallel twin nicked from the Africa Twin pumping out a healthy 86bhp, four riding modes including Sport, and even wheelie control for proper rebels, whahey.
Interestingly, Honda’s offering it either with a six-speed manual gearbox or its very clever DCT automatic system, presumably on the basis that almost half of all Africa Twin buyers in Europe opted for the DCT option.
Lower on the gruntometer is another Honda DCT faithful, the NC750X, basically a twist and go adventure bike. The new version is 6kg lighter and gets a gearing tweak to make it a bit more frisky.
It’s certainly exciting, but in the wrong way – riding a previous model, I had an interesting moment when the rev limiter cut in at about 6,000rpm just as I was overtaking, with a lorry coming the other way.
And at the bottom end of the scale, the CB125R gets a new 15bhp engine for A1 licence holders and top of the range Showa forks. If forks had thoughts, theirs will be wondering what they’re doing on a 125cc bike.
Back in Blighty, if that’s the right word for a company whose bikes are made in Thailand and Brazil, Triumph’s announced three new models for 2021, with at least two more to be revealed soon.
The most exciting is the Trident, a tidy looking naked middleweight beauty powered by a new 660cc triple, and with 80bhp, a wet weight of only 189kg, ABS and traction control, it’s likely to have lots of thrills without the spills.
Priced at a tasty £7,195 and capable of being A2-restricted, it’s clearly aimed at tempting riders moving up to their first big bike away from Yamaha’s class-leading £6,697 MT-07 and the updated £7,199 Honda CB650R or the updated Kawasaki Z650 at £6,849.
Even more exciting is a completely revamped Speed Triple, with a new chassis, loads of gizmos and the existing 1050cc engine increased to a capacity still to be revealed, but likely to nudge 170bhp. That’ll be fun.
Slightly weird, meanwhile, is the new Tiger Sport 850 to replace the base model Tiger 900, which was only introduced at the start of the year but hasn’t sold well, with most buyers going for the higher-spec Rally, GT and GT Pro.
Confusingly, the 850 has the same 888cc engine as the 900, but detuned from 94bhp and 64 lb ft to 84bhp and 60 lb ft to make it more user-friendly for inexperienced riders.
It’s got the same T-plane crank for a gnarly sound, can be made A2-compliant, has Brembo brakes, Marzocchi forks and Road and Rain riding modes, and at £9,300 is £200 cheaper than the base Tiger 900 it replaces.
The slightly aging Tiger 1200, meanwhile, gets a weight loss and a retune for flexibility rather than outright power.
At Ducati, the already astonishing Multistrada dumps its 1262cc V-twin for a more powerful 1103cc V4 pumping out a whopping 168bhp. Just the thing for a spot of gentle green laning on a Sunday afternoon.
And as if the current 4,678 electronic aids weren’t enough, the S version has radar to stop you running into cars, especially police ones, and presumably low-flying jets.
There’ll also be upgrades for the Panigale, Scrambler and Monster, although Ducati is being coy about details for the moment. I suspect electronics, and I do know that the trademark steel trellis frame of the Monster is being ditched for a more conventional set-up.
There’s also radar on BMW’s new R1250RT, more torque for the RnineT and a touring Classic version of the lovely R18.
Royal Enfield’s bringing out a 350 20bhp single, the Meteor, at a very tempting £3,749, and with the 650 powerplant in the Interceptor and Continental GT crying out for more uses, except it to appear in a more powerful Himalayan, and maybe a cruiser and bobber.
With Harley-Davidson in financial diffs, it’s sadly binned the attractive naked Streetfighter, but the Pan-America adventure bike will be launched on February 22.
And for something completely different, Ural has revealed a right-hand drive motorcycle and sidecar called the Ranger for the UK.
With a powered sidecar wheel, it’s perfect for all you Russian off-road sidecar nuts out there, which I know is most of you.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll just stick a fur hat on the cat and get him strapped in. After putting my heavy gloves on, since I can’t stand the sight of blood. Especially my own.
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